Filed under: birthdays
I turn 23 a few weeks ago and I must say, this year’s loot is the best by far! I am mighty pleased.
It is, however, strange to think of myself as someone who is approaching her mid-twenties. In my (deluded) mind, I remain forever 18. I think this denial is largely due to the fact that I am still a student and school is a time vacuum. I feel oddly detached from the realities of the outside world and it’s not a bad thing, really.
One of my favourite moments of the trip was the time I spent with myself – wandering the streets on my own, exploring the sites away from the crowd, sitting by the pool in the middle of the night. Moments like that, and it made me realize how much I undervalue time alone with myself. This picture was taken early in the morning from the balcony of our mountain top hotel in Tretes. I woke up early to catch the sunrise. It was the last day in Java before we headed to Bali and I wanted to savour every final moment. I took long drags of my cigarette(s) while I watched the sky changed colour, accompanied by the call for the morning prayers. There were many mosques within the vicinity of the hotel and each call was echoed by another and another and another, until it reached a point when that was the only sound to be heard. I am not a peaceful person. Murky, troubled waters abound. But at that point of time, peace was what I felt. Quiet, calming peace.
I’ve had time to think about myself and I think being away is the best time to do such a thing. I am not only physically away, but I am also emotionally and mentally absent from Singapore and everything and everyone within its border. Epiphanies, revelations and realizations. Some good, some bad, some shocking, some sad. I relished each and every one of them. I’ve always had questions and I suppose I will always have them. Niggling bits of doubt and uncertainty. While I do not have answers for now, or ever for that matter, I am happy enough with having options. I turn 23 this year and I am looking forward, albeit with a little trepidation, to what’s ahead for me. Plans may not work out but it will not be the end of the world for me because like I said, options. There are other routes to follow and hopefully the route I choose will take me to my ultimate goal of contentment.
People change, and I am no different. Today you’re someone’s partner, best friend, companion, child, sibling. Tomorrow, who knows?
Filed under: random
Took me awhile to remember my password because I haven’t logged in for so long, even my browser forgot about it.
I have been getting daily asthma attacks since last Monday. Went to see the doctor today and he prescribed me 2 types of medication and casually mentioned that it will cause a bit of weight gain. Do I look like I need or want any extra kilos? I was very reluctant to pop the pills but considering the fact that it feels like a cow is sitting on my chest, I have no other choice.
