Filed under: rant
Thinking about my $100+ handphone bill pisses me off. I don’t call or sms that much so I don’t know why my bill isn’t in the $40-60 range. Damn you, telco with the green coloured logo. I am thinking maybe it’s the stupid ancient plan that I am using so I am going to switch plans and get a new phone. It could also be because of the silly, lengthy squabbles with the Paki but I can’t switch a boyfriend now can I? Anyway why are most Nokia phones are so ugly nowadays? Jump on the slim, non-bulky and aesthetically pleasing bandwagon ye bloody Finns. I still want a Nokia, irregardless of what everyone else seems to be waxing lyrical about Samsung/LG/Motorola/Sony Ericsson. I am a handphone conservative. In fact I think that deep down inside, I am pretty much a conservative person.
For example last Friday I visited Kusu Island with Janice to research for our project, which includes observing activities at the temple and the shrine. I was very disturbed by what I saw at the latter. It’s so very … strange and completely alien to me and I am inclined to disagree with it. It doesn’t matter though because our project is not about whether the practices at the shrine are wrong or right but rather it is about how we can sustain Kusu Island as a cultural resource. Who am I to judge the merits of other people’s actions anyway? To each his own. I completely agree that religion is a personal affair, despite its pervasive influence in all aspects of life. How can people discredit religion as merely blind following eh? It is more than just a belief, it’s a way of life. What you eat, what you wear, who you marry, how you marry, how you treat others and many other life choices are dictated by religion. At the same time some people argue that one need not necessarily have a religion in order to be a good person and by good, it would mean morals and ethics. Could morals and ethics exist separately from religion then? Would doing good on its own, without the justification of religion, be enough to deem it as an act of good?
Could it also be that it’s almost 3am and I am rambling out of my ass? Very likely.
Filed under: rant
Truth be told, I am unhappy, discontented and exhausted. What is the meaning of all this and what lies ahead for me? I am quite sick of battling my own self, quite sick of the struggle between reasons and emotions. I had grand plans for my existence but it appears that I will be average at best, stuck in a rut with nowhere else to go. Are my expectations too high and do I demand too much out myself and everyone else? Maybe nothing and no one will ever be good enough for me, not even myself. I would like to think that I have done so much but at the same time, this martyred air that I breathe in disgusts me to no end.
This veneer is about to crack.
