Filed under: random
I really like “You have 2 cows…” jokes. They crack me up. I was nearly late for class today because I was busy laughing.
Agnostic:
Cows may exist, or they may not, but the existence of two cows belonging to you cannot be proven.
Atheism:
Your friends insist that there are two cows despite absolutely no shit, footprints, moos, or any other evidence of any cows whatsoever.
Confucianism:
Confucius say, “It’s better to have one cow and be happy than two cows and worry.”
Islam:
You have two cows. You kill one on Eid ul-Adha. You give the meat to the poor. You milk the other one, and sells the milk. You give the poor 2.5% mandated portion of your profit. You kill the remaining cow because one of your neighbour is starving, and give him the meat. On the next Eid you get meat because you’re a poor man now for not having any cow.
Hinduism:
You have two cows. You are enlightened when you realize that they are in fact one and the same. You have one cow.
Pantheism:
Two cows exist in everything.
Zen Buddhism:
If two cows moo in a pasture, and no one is there to hear them, do they make a sound?
And one more.
Emo (not religion but whatever):
You have 2 cows. They hate you.
Filed under: rant
My right heel hurts a lot and naturally, I turned to the Internet to provide me with answers. According to some online medical thing, heel pain can be caused by a number of factors like:
1) tight calf muscles
2) excessive jogging or running
This is one of the rare instances that the Internet has failed me because my calves are jiggly and I have yet to utilize my fabulous red Nike track shoes which I bought a year ago. I did run today this afternoon with Peggy, from the bus stop to the lecture theatre, but that’s because we had a point to prove. Anyway my foot was already hurting since morning, hence that sudden burst of misguided adrenaline cannot be the cause of the pain. I have resorted to slapping a medicated plaster onto my heel and hopefully I can walk pain-free tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have to come back to school for one miserable class from 4-6pm. I hate hate hate hate hate being in a crowded MRT train in the morning. Today I had an 8am class and at 7ish, I was squashed between a bunch of smelly and obviously UNSHOWERED people. Is it so hard to get up 10 minutes earlier to take a bloody shower? Preferably with the aid of shower foam but even a bar of soap would be good. Just shower, damn it, and stop emitting noxious gases from your body. I am courteous and considerate as a public transport commuter because I shower and I use a nice shower foam. I use deodorant and I spray perfume as well. I like smelling nice but more importantly, I don’t want to be a breathing hazard to people around me. SO THE REST OF YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME. Another thing, shave your bloody armpits if you intend to air them because I don’t care what your views on body hair are or if you are a feminist and totally against beauty rituals intended for pleasuring the patriarchy because in general, armpit hair looks gross. They resemble weeds and do you see people dying to keep weeds in their gardens? No, of course not. That should be a big hint for you.
THAT IS ALL FOR TONIGHT. I am going to go back being sulky and emo.
Filed under: home
Hiding inside my magazine folder. The 3 folders are now branded with bite and scratch marks because she cannot really squeeze her way into them anymore, so she attacks.
Head stuck in a tissue box. That’s what you get when you attempt to rip out the last piece of tissue. Not shown in picture : about 80 sheets of tissue shredded like confetti.
Couple pic. or HEEEEE pic.
